Horrible Hospital Week

I'm home from the hospital now. And I'm going to write down everything that has been going on. This blog is my journal, kinda weird that I'm publishing it on the internet for all to see so I'm debating about going private. But before I put too much thought into that, here I go. Plus I feel like I have benefited from other people's public blogs, in particular one girl who has two year old twin boys and was meticulous about recording tons of things during her pregnancy. She has become an invaluable first hand source to me and I truly hope that some day my experiences can benefit someone else. I sure as heck had NO CLUE that preterm labor would be such a horrific hospital experience.

Sunday, Jan 16th: Here I am last week after church. I was feeling just fine then. I really truly felt like I was just a normal pregnant girl, just twice as large. But Sunday night before we went to bed, Chris was talking to the boys in my tummy. He mentioned that I seemed to be having lots of contractions. I am used to lots of contractions and didn't really pay much attention to it, until the middle of the night when I was awoken multiple times by some pretty strong contractions. I knew I wasn't in labor, but I also knew that something wasn't right. Fortunately, I had a doctors appointment scheduled for the next morning so I just kept trying to go back to bed.Monday, Jan 16^th: I go alone to my doctor’s appointment. Honestly, as I was pulling out of the driveway I remember thinking, this is it - I'm going to the hospital. Strange, because with both of my girls I only went to the hospital to deliver them after going to my OB first. Anyways, I tell the dr about these stronger more frequent contractions, she isn't too worried. Then she checks my cervix and I'm dilated to a 1. Now she’s worried. She sends me to the hospital. I spent all day in the hospital being monitored; my contractions were every 7-8 min. I got two shots of Terbutaline to stop my contractions. They finally almost stopped. They do a Fetal Fibronectin test which is used to predict whether or not you may go into labor in the next two weeks. Mine comes back negative J So, the dr sent me home with strict instructions: bed rest. I was to count my contractions and if I had more than 4 in one hour, for two straight hours I was to go back to the hospital.

Tuesday, Jan 17^th: I am lying in bed at home all day, I have a few kind visitors and spend plenty of time cuddling with my girls. When Chris comes home from work he asks how many contractions I've been having and I honestly don't know because I wasn't paying attention, I'm just so used to having contractions at this point! I decide to start keeping track. In a 2 and 1/2 hour span, I realize that I'm having contractions every 4-5 min! Hello! What is wrong with me!? So I start getting nervous and make Chris pack a hospital bag for me. My BF Allison came over with her family and brought us dinner so I told them that I felt I needed to go to the hospital again. Allison ended up spending the night at my house taking care of my girls. When Chris and I get to the hospital and they put me on the monitor I'm contracting every 2-3 minutes. Holy Crap. They freak a little and give me two more shots of Terbutaline. My contractions get better. But I get a cervical ultrasound which shows that I’m dilated to a 1, my cervix is thinned out to 2.3 and its funneling. All not good signs. So they keep me over night to see how my body will react when the meds wear off again.

Wednesday, Jan 18^th: I wake up early with contractions every 6 minutes. What is going on with my body?? I'm only 29 weeks!! The dr does another cervical exam and decides that Baby A has dropped down into the birth canal over night and his head is now putting pressure on my cervix so I'm not going home. They hook me up to all kinds of contraptions and start me on Magnesium Sulfate at 10am. WORST DAY EVER. Seriously, this was some powerful drug. I thought I was going to die I was in so much misery. I was hot and sweaty, my limbs were on fire and the AC in the room was set at 50 degrees! No lie! Chris and the nurses are all shaking from the cold air and I'm shaking from the drugs. I'm feverish. I can't even open my eyes. I feel nauseous. I feel helpless. And then, they roll me on my side and stick a huge needle in my bum. That’s when I finally cry. (until then I had been emotionally stable and quite calm, surprisingly) The steroid shot is to help the babies’ lungs mature more rapidly in case they can't get these contractions under control and the babies come out super premature. Worst shot ever. I writhe in pain for the next few hours. Just when I think I'm coming back to earth, they decide that the meds aren't working well enough so they need to up my dosage. Bring on the nausea and the chills again. I don't sleep that night, I'm still in pain. My body just aches everywhere, mostly my legs and feet which I continually demand Christopher to rub.

Wires and Tubes and Contraptions. I'm covered in them. I'm counting.

Left Arm:
-heart rate monitor clipped to my finger (1 wire)
-pink IV tube with three bags of fluid attached; 1-saline, 1-magnesium sulfate, 1-antibiotics – since I apparently developed a UTI, of course (3 wires)

Right Arm:
-hospital ID bracelet
-blood type ID bracelet, incase I need an emergency blood transfusion
-tons of Band-Aids and cotton swabs stuck all over from getting blood drawn every 12 hours, yuck
-blood pressure cuff, goes off automatically every hour (1 wire)

Body:
-thin hospital gown
-contraction monitor on my belly (1 wire)
-baby A heart rate monitor on my belly (1 wire)
-baby B heart rate monitor on my belly (1 wire)
-catheter, really yuck (1 wire)
-socks
-two ouchies in my cheeks from getting steriod shots, and I'm not talking about the cheeks on your face
-compression stockings that alternately inflate on each leg every few seconds to prevent blood clots (2 wires)

Total Wires: 11. Plus a ton of other hospital garbage. Seriously, I had no idea I was in for this. Every time a nurse puts a new IV bag of Mag up I say to her “I did not sign up for this.”

At four thirty in the morning, my catheter somehow backs up and I literally pee all over myself. So embarrassing. The magnesium sulfate is a muscle relaxer, and I’m pretty drugged up and numb. The worst part is that I thought that my water had just broke! I frantically call the nurse who comes in and checks it out and decides it wasn’t amniotic fluid. I cannot go back to sleep now, no way.

Thursday, Jan 19^th: I am still going strong on the Magnesium Sulfate. Its been over 24 hours and I’m still having lots of contractions. The drs aren’t pleased. Up the dosage again! Whoo-hoo! (I’m being totally sarcastic). By the way, I’m not allowed any food or drink this entire time – only ice chips. Horrible. I am miserable for yet another day. Still unable to move or think clearly. I try not to talk to anyone. I even made the nurse put a sign on my door that said No Visitors. I was NOT in the mood. I get another ultrasound, this time I’m still at a 1 but the baby is bulging or pushing on my cervix. Not good. I’m thinned out a little more to a 1.9. The only good part is my babies look healthy and strong. Baby A (who is trying to come out head first) is about 3 lb. 4 oz., Baby B (who is perfectly content way up inside my rib cage still) is about 3 lb. 10 oz. Baby B keeps flipping positions from breech to transverse. By the evening my contractions have finally slowed to one or two an hour. Chris and the girls come visit me for the first time. It was bittersweet. We ate popsicles together (nice nurse). Jada was very mature and inquisitive, really sweet and concerned. Kalle had to lie in bed with me, hugging me. She cried her eyes out when they left and I didn’t go with them. She kept saying “Please mommy, come on, lets go! Please come with Kalle! Please go home!” She was really upset. I had four contractions during the hour that they were visiting me. Not good.

Friday, Jan 20^th: It has been over 48 hours on Magnesium Sulfate, no food, miserable. FINALLY, my dr comes in and decides to take me off the meds. 51 HOURS TOTAL. They said most women stop contracting after the first 12-24 hr on the mag. Not me. I am still having contractions. But I’ve maxed out the allowed time on the drugs. I have already missed breakfast and lunch so the nurse finds some yucky leftovers for me. I try to rest the remainder of the afternoon. My body and my mind are completely exhausted. After Chris puts the girls to bed, he comes over to the hospital and helps me take my first shower of the week. I couldn’t wait until the morning. Poor Chris, he’s in charge of everything.

Saturday, Jan 21^st: I hear a baby born in the room next to me this morning. The nurses are hustling around, the family members are cheering, the baby cries softly. The hospital plays a sweet lullaby over the loud speaker in the hallway to celebrate the event. It was so tender and magical. For the first time I am almost anxious to hold my own babies. I have been off of the meds for almost 24 hours now. My head is starting to clear. My body still aches but at least I can eat! I have a two hour test to pass. If I don’t have any contractions for two straight hours then they’ll send me home! I pray and pray that I pass the test. I lay still and try to sleep so my body is extra calm during the test. After two hours the dr comes in and says I had two contractions during my test but she thinks I am what they call a “chronic contractor” so shes going to send me home! One condition: strict bed rest. I’m allowed 15 min a day to shower and use the restroom, otherwise I am to be lying or reclining as flat as possible with my feet up at all times. My dr is ready to sign the discharge papers if I can prove to her that I will have someone living in my house taking full care of me – she is so nervous about me trying to be in charge of my girls at home. I pass this test too. YAY!!!

Sunday, Jan 22^nd: I can’t believe I was walking around, taking my girls to church by myself and acting totally normal just last week. Here’s my new plan of care until these babies come: My mother-in-law just got here from Georgia. She is taking Kalle back with her for the next three weeks. My mom is coming this week. She will be living with us taking care of me, Jada, Chris and our house. Jada will continue going to preschool in the mornings. Chris will continue to work as much as possible before the babies come. I will lie in bed, trying to keep these babies from coming before they’re full-term. I am optimistic that I’ll have between 6-8 weeks in bed. At least I’m at home J

I have two dr appointments this week. I’m sure I’ll be visiting them weekly from now on. That’s ok with me, as long as I can stay out of the hospital. I could hardly get any rest there. Strange, I thought that going to the hospital away from my kids and responsibilities around the house would be a BREAK! HA!

I am doing surprisingly well. No more tears (since that nasty steroid shot). I am feeling quite calm about my situation. Partly I’m guessing because back in October I was praying one night and had this overwhelming feeling that I needed to be prepared for my twins in January. Not necessarily that they would be born then, just that I would need to be ready for some reason. I really have just been preparing myself since then. The bed rest thing hasn’t been a shock – the hospital stay with the drugs however, I don’t think anything could’ve prepared me for that.

I am way happier at home. We have had so many amazing friends and neighbors who have helped our family. Jada and Kalle had new babysitters every day and Chris and the girls had food to eat while I was gone. I was so miserable at first I wanted Chris to be there with me, holding my hand. Even though he couldn’t do anything for me, I just needed him to wipe my tears. I am so grateful that our friends were willing to sleep at my house, take care of my girls and even do our laundry and dishes and mop our floors! I don’t even know the extent of all of the love that has been shown to us – just the prayers and thoughts alone have been incredible!

I have one neighbor who was on bed rest years ago for FOUR months! She has been unbelievably helpful and she said to me that shes glad she can finally pay it forward to someone in the same situation. Someday, I will be her.

I also feel so blessed to have a few friends and family members who have gone through the same awful drugs and bed rest – their encouragement has been so motivating. Its wonderful to think of their healthy children today and imagine how fleeting this time in my life will be, eventually. Two BOYS! I am so excited! I can’t wait! Oh wait, actually I CAN!